Writing Every Which Way

Novels, poems, and writing tips


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Why being a teenage author sucks

Don’t get me wrong, being a teenager and writing books is great! The look of astonishment and concern when you tell someone you’re 17 and have two published novels is gratifying. Having so much free time to write is amazing. Having 700 people in a high school to beg to read your book is a gift. Alas, like any coin, there are always too sides.

Seeing as I’m a teenager in the middle class who has no job because high school is a (excuse my language) bitch, I don’t necessary have the greatest following and here’s why.

1. Teenagers are stingy.

Teenagers usually either don’t have a job at all, or don’t have much money coming in from their job. It’s not that they don’t want to fork over $0.99 it’s just that they don’t see a point in giving their money to some student author who’s book could be crap for all they know.

2. I don’t have a job.

A day in the life of Madison Uram is generally busy. I’m not saying I go home to three kids, have to make dinner, give the dog a bath, and pack everyone’s lunches. I’m saying that I have to finish up my after school activities (directing a One-Act play), I have to consume dinner, finish homework, and try to keep my life situated in the meantime. Once all that is done, there’s no time for a job and who would hire a 17 year-old girl with no experience? Not you.

Why do I need a job? First off, publishers expect drafts to be submitted by an agent and without an agent self-publishing is basically your only choice. Then, if you want to run ads you have to pay money which I have minimal of because I’m trying to pay for prom. And lastly, to even put your novel on iTunes you need to pay for a memebership… AKA why I’m not on iTunes. Sorry.

3. Literally no one cares.

I can scream from the rooftop until my voice is gone about my novels, but I promise you that I will be extremely lucky if even one person buys my novel. This isn’t a pity party, it’s just how people are.

Has someone every advised a TV series to watch for you and despite the fact that it sounds perfect for you, you’re just too darn stubborn to watch it?

That’s how everyone feels about novels.

No matter how blown away they are that you wrote a novel, they don’t have the time or care to read it. And I can’t even blame them. I’ve read the short stories and poems my friends have written and if I heard one of them had written a novel, I wouldn’t pay money for it either.

Long story short, I love writing and I love when people read my book, I just wish more people would! If you feel the same, leave a comment below telling me of your plight. If you pity me, here’s the link to buy The Little Paragons and here’s the link to buy The Little Villains vvvvvvvv

The Little Paragons

The Little Villains

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How to promote your book while annoying everyone you know…

The struggle self-published authors are very familiar with, is the task of getting people to actually read their book. I mean, no doubt there are hundreds of Best Sellers out there that aren’t Best Sellers yet because it’s impossible to get an audience cheaply. You either have to pay a bajillion dollars for ads or annoy everyone you know with shameless self-promotions.

Seeing as I’m a 17 year old trying to survive high school, I’m in the portion of the self-published author population that drives everyone crazy.

Now, it’s probably become prominent at this point that as of this morning, my novel The Little Villains is available on Amazon.com. I’m thrilled that the year and a half of work has paid off, but now I’m faced with a problem: how do I convince people to buy it?

Here’s what I did:

  1. Made an extremely annoying post on every social media platform I own. Yes, that includes everything from Snapchat and Facebook to Instagram and my blog. Annoying? yes. Necessary? No doubt.
  2. Became a walking billboard. Thanks to my brother and his skills with an iron, I was able to acquire some t-shirts featuring the covers of my two novels. I consequently begged one of my friends to wear one and it got a good bit of attention.
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    Disregard me being an idiot.

  3. Put myself out there in front of my high school. My school has a morning announcements class devoted to creating funny videos and filming a news broadcast that includes the daily announcements. Due to my love for the film industry, I am in said class and decided to anchor for the day wearing aforementioned billboard shirt.
  4. I didn’t shut up. The shirt was a good conversation starter and once people saw that they usually asked how I managed to write a book and what it was about. From there I would persuade them to buy my book! Screaming “Buy my book!” also helps.

In total, I see nothing wrong with being extremely annoying when it comes to promoting a self-published novel. Self-published authors put just as much (and sometimes more) effort into creating our masterpieces, and we’re overlooked because we can’t afford fancy advertisements or simply just don’t want to take that route. Who can blame us for accidentally driving all our friends and family insane for one day?

 


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“The Little Villains” is available for purchase!

As of last midnight (and early this morning due to me noticing one last typo that made my OCD go crazy), The Little Villains is available for purchase from Amazon.com!

Feel free to let me know what you think by leaving a comment on Amazon. And remember, any publicity is good publicity when it comes to novels.

Also, thank you so much to everyone who has supported me while writing this novel. It has sure been one eventful year and a half with this project. So thank you everyone! I hope you love it as much as I do.

Love you all,

Madi Uram

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The Little Villains available now!


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Almost done!

Coming out this Friday will be my second novel: The Little Villains. This book is the sequel to my first novel: The Little Paragons and will be available for purchase on Amazon.com!

If you want to learn more about either of my books click here.

If you want to purchase The Little Paragons click here.

Stay tuned for more information 🙂

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The Little Villains. Coming out this Friday.


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The Little Villains: A book blurb

Four months spent in the roles of kings and queens lured Gabe Wolfwood and the Tailor siblings into a state of security that was soon to be shattered.

The Little Paragons are thrown into turmoil when their enemies, Seth and Rebecca, return from Hell. Seth tosses a curve ball in the game when he kidnaps one of Gabe’s closest allies. Gabe must find a way to rescue his friend, continue the fight for Good, and keep his family off his back.

All the while he tries to win the heart of a girl who’s more confusing than any Fairy Tale.

Gabe can only hope he has enough sarcasm to survive the next part of their adventure.

 

*** Buy the full novel here***

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The Little Villains available now from Amazon.com